so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize