Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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