We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
