what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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