if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
