I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
