funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
