I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
