I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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