that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
