Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
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Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
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That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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