yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
