Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
