Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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