Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
