she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
