and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
