i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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