Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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