This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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