im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
