am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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