3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
