He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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