Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
there is puke in my bra ... again
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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