it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
