You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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