Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
