Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
pray to the hookup gods
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
