Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
