Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
