Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
