real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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