I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
