I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize