Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
