help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize