Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
