It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
