Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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