just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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