we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize