we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
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