i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
