So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
