Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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