I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
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