I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
