How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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