I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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