im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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