He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I supernannyed him into submission
i am craving dick and cupcakes
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
