Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
