did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I have post one night stand depression
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
