ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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