If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
