He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
