My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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