How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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