I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
