thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
